Bring on the World Series.

Alrighty, folks, step right up! This here's yer handy dandy guide to rootin' for the Royals in the World Series. Come Tuesday night, you'll know all the ins and outs of the Royals lineup like you're keeping a scorecard in your pants.

Alcides Escobar wih his adorable son, after winning the ALCS MVP Award. 

The Royals have stuck with the same lineup for all of the postseason, so let's start with their first batter up. Alcides Escobar plays Shortstop - he doesn't have a lot of power, but makes up for it with speed, and his nickname is Eskie. He's more widely known for his soft-hit drives to the grass between the infield and the outfield, which H and I call Eskie home runs. They're the perfect way to start off the hitting game for the Royals.

Ben, Julianna, and Zion watch a pregame tribute in Tampa. 

Second in the lineup is Ben Zobrist, Second Baseman. His wife is a Christian singer, and did a beautiful rendition of the National Anthem in Game 1 of the ALDS. She is currently 43 months pregnant and in all likelihood be giving birth to the next generation of baseball prowess during the World Series. Ben doesn't have a nickname, but I did see an excellent sign at one of the recent games that had a faded picture of Ben swinging away with the words, "Talk to your doctor today to see if Zobrist is right for you." That's some top shelf fan posterage, right there.

Lorenzo Cain has the absolute best smile. 

Lorenzo Cain - or Lo Cain to his fans - is the Royals' centerfielder, and is arguably the best player on the team. He has a massive presence defensively, and the third spot on the roster starts off the meat of the Royals' lineup. His walk-up music is the timeless song Trapqueen, and H and I belt out the lyrics every time he steps up to the plate. That song also happens to be somewhat of a team theme song - there was a period in time where players were slipping '1738' into their interviews.

The epic stare-down. 

At first base we have Eric Hosmer. The sultry mix of faux-hawk and soul-searching eyes makes him a favorite among the ladies. Most people call him the Hoz, but I prefer to call him by his real name. The Romulan. You can't tell me his perfectly angled eyebrows and on-edge demeanor makes him anything but other worldly. He's usually the one bringing in the men on base via singles or doubles, but will also utilize the rare home run.

What a gorgeous scoring machine. 

Starting fifth, in the Designated Hitter slot, we have Kendrys Morales. As H puts it, he's all serious business, and everyone calls him KenMo. He's a home run powerhouse, and has hit rockets out of the park from both sides of the plate this postseason. And sometimes when he's really happy (like scoring the winning runs in Game 5 of the ALDS), he starts skipping.

The instant Mike crawled out of his offensive slump in the ALCS.

You'll remember Mike Moustakas from my earlier post, but I wanted to mention that we couldn't have anyone better at Third Base. He's made so many line drive catches that otherwise would've sailed into left field and thrown then directly at Hosmer for quick, clean outs. When he does awesome things, everyone in the stands yells "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE!" at the top of their lungs. There are shirts, hats, and posters dedicated to moose jokes - one of the KC announcers even has a tagline that goes, "Someone call a park ranger ... the moose is loose!"

After striking out Miguel Cabrera. 

This man is the biggest little kid on the field. We asked one hundred Royals fans who their favorite player was: 9 people said LoCain, 21 people said Hosmer, and 58 people said Salvador Perez. He makes these powerful throws to second base to get out the runner, and the fans go nuts. You'll be cheering Salvie! Salvie! right along with them when you see him play. It just so happens he is also the Gatorade dunker. He'll grab the Gatorade cooler, sneak up on a player in the middle of a post-game interview, and pour all that blue juice all over them. It. Is. Awesome. Sometimes he spreads the love and gets both players and interviewers.

The incredible sliding catch in Game 5 of the ALDS.

Batting eighth, way back in left field, we have Alex Gordon. He held the team up on his shoulders last year, and at one point had a greater WAR (Wins Above Replacement) than Mike Trout. He's your all-purpose all-American, your strong-arm from the middle of nowhere, able to throw a a man out a home with an amazing throw. He's pretty much the best left fielder in baseball.

Yeah, this guy's got nothing, hang up on him. 

Aaaaaaaaaaand bringing up the rear, with many years of sub par baseball under his belt, is Alex Rios. I wanted to end on a high, but I feel like we've already peaked. Rios has single-glovedly allowed at least three (it's gotta be around three) runs to score based on his poor ball handling. Someone will pop up to right field, Rios gets a bad jump or a bad read, and he'll miss his mark allowing the other team to score. Rios and I have a like-hate relationship. He'll make you hate him early on in the game, and then just when you think there couldn't possibly be any lower expectation, he gets a majorly significant double to start a round of Royals scoring as they head into the meat of their lineup. He is a mystery. I want to say I know exactly where his floor and ceiling are, but then he goes and breaks the boundaries of both. He is unbelievable.

I think that's good for now. Soon we shall take a look at the starting pitchers, and the inner workings of the bullpen, and what stadium food fits your horoscope. Until next time, Go Royals.