Stuck.

Ever wake up and realize that you've completely wasted months of your life? Yeah, me too. Except I've been waking up for the past month with that same realization punching me in the face every single day. Not the best feeling. I've wasted nearly nine months looking for a job that doesn't exist. Okay, technically it does exist, but it just doesn't exist here. Hi, my name is Alice, and I chased the rabbit down the hole. I've been falling ever since. And now I'm stuck in job limbo while H. sorts some things out with his work. I'd give details, but I don't want to get my hopes up too high. 

All I'm saying is that I hate being in the apartment all day. I would love to take a walk outside and clear my head without being burned alive. Sure, I could go to the mall or a coffee shop, but I would feel guilty spending money on something that I don't need. It also sucks that I don't know anyone out here. I guess it's partly my fault for not getting into the family group at H.'s work. There's a monthly newsletter with events and such put on by the wives of the company, but after learning that H. was the youngest new hire by about ten years (and being put off by their $20 luncheons), I decided not to get involved. That might have been a mistake, but I just wasn't interested. 

I just wish I could go back in time, take one or two specific courses in college, then move forward. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, but you can't change the past. Right now, I feel like I'm in between phases in my life (how cliche does that sound?), and I just want the next one to start already. In a world where all I have is time, life isn't moving fast enough. I just have to keep the faith that everything will work out.

Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward. ~ Victor Kiam